Now I Know How She Really Feels

I have told you all before that we, at Chez Sharpie, are a bunch of pranksters. We make up stupid lyrics to popular songs about one another. We tease each other mercilessly and we all around laugh at each other A LOT. DH and I poke fun at each other a million times a day. We will mouth things to each other so that the kids can't hear them only to rat each other out. Case in point....

Sitting at the dinner table the other night enjoying my homemade turkey soup and razzing my husband because he had forgotten to do ANOTHER something or another that I had asked to do. He sneaks a glance at the kids, they are not looking, and mouths ASSHOLE to me. With a huge smile on my face, I feign surprise and yell out "Daddy called me a name!"

Miss Thing looks up from her soup without a second's hesitation and says to DH, "Did it start with a B?"

She didn't have to even THINK about it. Like it was right there in her little mind anyway. Not that I am saying she is WRONG or that I hadn't thought that of my mother at that age. I guess I no longer have to wonder what she's thinking when she gives me the hairy eyeball....

Trying To Get Ahead Of The Holidays

Every year I feel like as soon as Halloween hits, the holidays just crash one into another. Thanksgiving comes and I am barely ready and then crash – there is Christmas and I am mad dashing to the store for presents. I get to despise this craziness. So, in an effort to actually enjoy the holidays, I am trying to get ahead of all of this. Thus far, I have successfully done the following…


1. Put up all outside lights and have had them lit from Thanksgiving night on.

2. Put up the Christmas tree and decorated it. We still need to decorate the rest of the house – but I think we still have time considering that it is still only November, right??

3. I have purchased approximately half of the gifts for the kids. All big items are either purchased and in hand or on their way. God, I LOVE me some Internet shopping! I think I will do even more and save myself the trip to the store!

4. I have purchased gifts for my Dad and MIL – they are absolutely done.

5. I have purchase outfits for the kids to wear for their Christmas pictures. I will make the appointment today for their pictures some time this week. Then I can create the cards and have them printed at Costco. I say this every year – let's see if I can actually do it???

6. I am way ahead of my graduate class and feel SO good about it.

7. I need to make a list of cookies I plan to make and then a list of ingredients to buy.

8. I have gifts for the kids teachers, bus driver and CCD teachers.


How are you all doing??

Question For Ya....

Have ya ever waited so long to shave your legs, that when you finally did - your jeans felt looser? Just me?

Hello Cold Weather!!

Doin' What I'm Told

You may have noticed that my sister's blog has been down for the week. If you are like me, you have gone back every day (or more) to check and see if it is up and running. She emailed me this morning and asked that I share a temp link to a temp blog while the old blog is getting resurrected from the depths of Internet Hell.

Here it is....

So, go and say hello. I mean it - GO! Cuz if she calls ME cranky - there will be hell to pay.....

Mark My Words

That sometime in the near future this particular week of the month will begin Miss Thing's dreaded cycle. I'm not wishing or even hoping for a visit from Auntie Flo for my Lil Tween, but DAMN, the mood swings.

This afternoon she was beading a bracelet, got the whole thing done and tied and it feel apart - and so did she.

I was so shocked by her reaction - I actually laughed. But only got out the first tee-hee when I noticed how upset she was. Slumped shoulders complete with full on tears and incoherent sobbing and quivering lip. Poor baby. She's all chuck full of the first traces of hormones.

We'll see if I'm right. God, help us all.

To Round Out The Week

I got an email this morning from Lil Man's teacher, who was testing out a new way to mass distribute lists and emails. I responded that I had received it and my, my weren't we going and getting all hi-tech and what not. (I know this teacher outside of school, she is a friend of a friend and I love her as a teacher. Miss Thing had her as well.)

Her response....

"don't get cheeky I'm in tech training and I need the help."

Cheeky?

Well, I never.

My Life, She Is Crazy

And Wonderful. But, mostly crazy. So, here are some bullet points...

1. I did not find my stone to my ring, but I did order a new stone to replace it. The ring should be back on my finger in about a week. I assume I will find the lost stone in about a week and a day.

2. Conair called me back after I informed them of the Flat Iron Blue Spark Fire of 2007 and are sending me a replacement. Of the same flat iron. I explained to the very nice lady that this particular fact made me quite uneasy. She assured me that stuff like this "doesn't ever EVER happen". Nice to know they think I'm special too.

3. I was asked last night if I would participate in a book. By participating, I mean if I would be interviewed and photographed for a coffee table book about professors in the Art College. The author/photographer is a student and has chosen 10 professors in total. I agreed. The interview was unnerving as there was a tape recorder and really difficult questions to answer. I wish I could have taken them home and typed up my answers - I am better when I think it through.

Here are some of the questions that I thought were really interesting...

1. What's your biggest dream?

2. What's your favorite movie? Band? Influence?

3. Best advice you ever received?

4. And my favorite question.....If you ran into your 20 year old self...what would you say to her and what would she say to you?

There were many other great questions and I can't wait to see how the book comes out.

See how weird my life is? And amazing. Yep, my life is amazing.

How would you answer Question #4?

Thank You, Tiny Baby Jesus

For making me change my mind and walk upstairs to plug in the Flat Iron that I had told my daughter to. For making me stand right there as I plugged it in and not leaving until it had warmed up like I normally do. For keeping me calm and collected as the Flat Iron burst into flames in my hand. Thank you for the clarity to blow it out and unplug it from the wall before my knees started to shake.

Thank you for the smile that I forced when I told my daughter I could not Hot Iron her hair today before school - BEFORE THE DANCE - because it had caught fire, but I would do my best to blow dry it straight for her. Thank you for not allowing the Flat Iron a few more minutes and possibly igniting my daughter's head. Thank you for reminding me that my life is good and I should be thankful at all times.

Thank you.

Best Advice EVER

I noticed the other day, that I had lost a stone from my 3-stone diamond anniversary ring. After searching high and low in every nook and cranny, I wiped my tears and called the store from which my hubby had bought the ring. They have a stone replacement policy if you take it to get the prongs and stones checked every 6 months - which I had NOT, cause who the fuck has time for THAT?! And really?? This ring is a year and a half old - my other rings are over a decade old and I have never had a problem - so did I think about it ever? Ah...no. But, I thought that I would take a chance and perhaps it would go in my favor.

After explaining my predicament to Jay, from lovely Kay's jewelers, he pauses and says, "What you really should do is...."

"Yes???"

"Find the stone."

(pause to see if he is fucking with me. He is not.)

"Yeah, thanks for that. Cause I never would have thought of THAT one on my own. In the OFF chance that doesn't happen, what are my options?"

Well, there ya go. Find the stone. No problem...I'm on it. Assholes.