Carnival Fish

Sounds like something in the frozen food isle, no? No.

We recently went to the annual town carnival and fair. It consisted of 6 or 7 quickly and loosely constructed rides with the all important ride operators. Ride operators = mullets, mustaches and cigarettes and many missing teeth where I come from. Is that a universal? Are they the SAME people all over?

Anywho, $20 bucks gets you a ride wristband and all the whirling from those seven rides you can stand. Times 2. Forty Dollars. To ride inadequately erected and maintained rides. Count me in.

After the tenth time on the Mind Eraser, Lil Man had spotted the Win A Goldfish game. Simply slap down your two dollars, throw a extra springy ping-pong ball into a teeny-tiny glass bowl and the fish at the bottom of the 2 inches of dirty water in the cooler IS ALL YOURS!! Hey - what a bargain! They even give you 4 balls to try! I HATE these rip-off games and loathe parting with my hard earned money for a poorly sewn together stuffed dog. BUT these were REAL fish. And hey, who doesn't like to see themselves walking back to the car with a plastic bag full of water and a goldfish, right?

Six dollars later, we brought home two fish. Lil Man was grinning ear to ear. Lover of all animals was SO EXCITED!!

As I threw them into the tank at home, I noticed some "issues" with the cooler fish. The bigger of the fish had a large hunk out of his head. How I had not noticed that by the light of the rides, I'll never know. The other smaller fish seemed to have some swimming issues. More specifically, he looked to be listing to one side.

We have had many fish in the years we have owned a fish tank and the one thing that I have learned is a large hunk out of one's head and listing to one's side does not make for a long life in the Chez Sharpie tank.

Great. I knew that it was not long before we had another burial at sea complete with Lil Man's tearful goodbyes.

Fish with Hunk Out Of Head lasted exactly 3 days. He was found stuck to the filter and a completely different color than the one he came to our house with. Listing Fish #2 was last seen floating on his side riding the wave of the current around and around. We have had two burials at sea with the family gathered around the toilet while Lil Man gives his eulogy and DH and I try HARD not to laugh out loud while he tells them to "go - be free". Flush. Amen.

I guess it is better than the time he told them to "go swim to Jesus" and DH and I had to leave the room faking tears and slapping each other to stop before he knew we were laughing at the fact that we have a septic tank and the only thing he would be swimming with was our poop.

Next time we go to the carnival, I'm letting him throw the darts and win the half-stuffed crab. Even if it costs me 20 bucks.