May 11, 2006

Search Engine Sludge

I have been known to Google.
OK. OK. I Google everything. EVERYTHING.
I LOVE Google.

I am slightly addicted.
Is that an oxymoron - Slightly Addicted?

I have been known to Google illnesses, projects, pictures and more.

But. BUT, BUT, BUT. There are some people who find my blog by way of a search engine. And *sigh* I feel the need to shout out to these people...

1. EVERYONE searching "Mother Of The Year". STOP IT! There is no such thing. No one is perfect. We ALL make mistakes with our kids. And anyone who looks perfect on the outside - I guarantee kicks their dog. Take up something else that can occupy more of your time - like American Idol.

2. Those searching fashion advice, i.e. Cocktail Attire, Leggings and Shoes. I suggest you find someone more qualified . I only have my degree in Making Fun Of Others . Sorry. (Not really)

3. To the Mom That Is Not Invited to Your Daughters Wedding....Ouch. I guess you need to ask yourself why, right? Perhaps you should acquaint yourself with your past and not my blog if you are looking for an invite. Or did you hear I make invites? I knew I was never getting rid of the invite business.

4. To the woman who thinks she's a bad mother.
*stands* Hi. My name is Sharpie. (ALL - Hi Sharpie) Here's a coaster - have a drink. Have two. I find it takes the edge off.

5. And for the mom looking for cupcakes that look like pigs...WHY?
No matter. Here. ( I Googled them for ya)

6. And for all of the following....I jerked off in front of my sister, I f@#ked my mother/sister/the dog next door, My sister's tits, Anything concerning daughters and begging for it - GET FUCKING HELP, YOU SICK FUCKS. AND, its not that kinda show here. MOVE THE FUCK ON AND DON'T COME BACK. Call a therapist. Seriously.

I need to go scratch my minds eye out now. And take a shower. Ewww.


At 2:16 PM, Blogger HomeFireBlue said...

C-cupcakes that look like pigs? Now that's sick.

I won't even share my Google subjects except to say that it occasionally involves the word 'insertable'.

Say ... how does one find out what keywords visitors were searching, eh?


At 2:27 PM, Blogger Sheri said...

ewwww - some people are just plain fucked up aren't they? Now, pig shaped cupckaes....there's something normal!

At 2:39 PM, Blogger Wendy said...

I get some really twisted searches too. I was most confused by the person who search "13 year old boy wearing diapers on a dirt bike." I'd have been far less concerned if that didn't come up on my stats 4 times in 2 weeks.

We bought pig cupcakes on Easter, but I promise I didn't google them first.

At 2:40 PM, Blogger Sharpie said...

Blue -

Do you have a sitemeter?
If you do - you can check where the people come in from.

Let me know if you need more info.

At 2:08 AM, Blogger Comic Mummy said...

That's hilarious (you know, in a freaky kinda way).

Most of my google search referrals come from people searching from comedians and stuff. The only weird one I've had thus far is 'coffee shots', but it's not really disturbing, just random.

At 10:40 AM, Anonymous Mama C-ta said...

Oh god I get ill to my stomach over some of the searches that lead people to my site...and why does my site come up for that crap?!!

Thanks for the pig cupcakes...yeah that was me. Not really :)


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