December 12, 2008

Too Precious Not to Share

As I have told you on many occasions, Lil Man is my loving, sensitive, sweet child while his sister can be nice, her dark sided humor takes over and, well... she is MY child.

But lately, she has been a very affectionate child. Hugging ALL THE TIME. Being very snuggly. Telling us how much she loves us. Don't get me wrong, it is VERY nice and something I had always wanted from her. Even as a baby, she was super independent and had a closer bond with her Daddy. I longed for those moments. Now, 10 years later, I got over it. So, when all the hugging starts I begin to think in what way is she trying to manipulate me. However, I haven't found a single time when this is true.

I guess I have a hard time with it because my parents NEVER were (or are) affectionate in that way. Therefore, I am NOT a hugger, kisser or personal space invader at ALL. I have often been called a touch freak. I don't like when people touch me. Really. I tolerate it from certain people, but flatly refuse with others. A psychologist would tell you this is result of the trauma and abuse I withstood in my young years by the Molesting Uncle Who Blew His Brains Out After He Was Found Out. Maybe. More than likely I would have been like this anyway.

Yesterday morning, I was standing by the kitchen sink and suddenly feel two little arms wrap themselves around my waist. Turning around she quickly repositions herself and buries her head into my chest and squeezes tighter. Instead of being cautious, I bend a bit and hug her tight. It occurs to me that she has never been able to wrap her little arms around my waist and have the overlap she does.

Teasingly, I say to her, "WOW! You have never been able to hug Mommy like that before and get your arms all the way around like that. Now you can and almost touch your elbows!"

She giggles into my chest. "I KNOW! I used to have to hug you like this (loosens her grip and makes her arms slightly wider)."

I smile because she is being kind and I don't think she could wrap her little self around any part of me save for my head and neck.

Still teasing her, "So, which do you prefer Skinny Mommy or Fat Mommy?"

Quickly she responds, "Skinny HAPPY Mommy."

And then my heart burst right there. Perhaps she is sweetening as she gets older. Or perhaps she feels I am more approachable (and hugable) now that I am happier. Either way, I plan to give and accept hugs from her every chance I get.


At 10:29 AM, Blogger LadyBugCrossing said...

Awww... you are a lucky mommy.

At 1:48 PM, Anonymous sherry said...

I'm with her. I like Happy Sharpie the best, too. :)


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