January 04, 2008


Or, how to know when your fat ass needs to go on Nutri*System....

1. Your fattest FAT jeans are too tight.

2. Have your kids take a close up picture of your double chin while you are holding the cat.

3. Have the kids take the same picture panned out.

4. You fight hard NOT to throw the camera to the ground and begrudgingly keep the pictures for motivation.

5. You only have sex in the dark with all the lights out including the night light.

6. You have given up certain "positions" because of the angle that might be "presented" to your significant other.

7. You try to only lie flat in the bed, it's your best angle.

8. The shirts you LOVED to wear now look wrinkled from all of the extra rolls on your back.

9. You gave up drinking all that water for coffee and Diet Soda.

10. The exercise equipment in the basement hasn't seen you in months.

11. You know what your husband weighs, but he has NO CLUE what you weigh.

12. You never tell anyone how much you weigh.

13. Or you are the heaviest you have ever weighed NOT being pregnant, though dangerously CLOSE to the weight you were when pregnant.

14. When you buy a chair for your son's new desk, you out loud comment that it looks so small that your ass may not fit in.

15. Your husband sits in the chair, notes that it is snug on his non-overweight ass and agrees.

16. Kitchen chairs with arms and movie theater chairs give you anxiety.

17. Hubby, nor Lil Man realize that when they ask you to lie on the couch with them, its not because you don't want to, it's because you won't fit.

18. When you have to stand in front of a class full of college kids, who have no money to eat, you look like you could eat them. Or have eaten them.

19. You are very unhappy with your appearance on a daily basis.

20. You are tired of being sick and tired and buy Nutri*System.

I no longer want to be sad, or depressed or self-loathing. I start the program today and have my mind in the right place for this adventure. I have a goal of 60 lbs in 8 months, if not more. But, I'm sticking to the 60. Anyone want to join me?


At 8:02 AM, Blogger Laura said...

I have been there, at all of those numbers. At one time I had jeans in my closet ranging from 8 to 18. I think you're going to do awesome!

At 10:17 AM, Blogger Susan said...

One addition to your list: If you find yourself shaking your head in agreement to EVERY SINGLE ONE of the above...

I'm so with you!

At 11:14 AM, Blogger Karen said...

My big clue is not being able to climb a flight of stairs without being winded!
I'm not doing nutrisystem, but I'm with you on the road to a healthier me!

At 12:04 PM, Anonymous sherry said...

I realize all those things are wake-ups. But here this, my dear sister. No matter how skinny you get, no matter how large a size you may wear, you will always, ALWAYS, be gorgeous.

People. Seeeeeeeriously, have you seen a pic of Sharpie? It's sickening how attractive she is.

But, being the chubby one for most of my life, I do know how much of a toll it can take on one's self-esteem when you look in the mirror and you're, well, shifted.

Good luck, my sweet sister. You'll do fabulous!!!!

At 9:40 PM, Blogger Heather said...

I totally feel your pain and hurt and sadness. I've lost the sixy pounds...now I gained most of it back again. But I'm not back in that place you are yet. I wish you all the best. And ditto what you're sister said girl!

At 9:17 PM, Blogger Sheri said...

I'm right there with you Sharpie but I've got about 80 to lose. I could cry. Instead.... I'm hopping on the bandwagon with you friend.

At 9:29 PM, Anonymous JayMonster said...

OK, so you got the motivation, now go with it. I am with you, although I will not go the Nutri*System method again.

You goals though are a bit lofty. Sound and not completely unresonable, but still lofty, especially once you get closer to your goal weight. There is nothing wrong with such goals, but don't let it discourage you if you start falling short, so long as you continue in the correct direction.


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