What I've Learned From My Disney Trips - Part II

As previously stated here the following disclaimer still applies...

(Disclaimer, so as not to be sued by Disney - It Is, Has Been and Will Always BE The Happiest Place on Earth)

However....

1. When I am on the airplane and trying to talk Miss Thing off the ledge - remember last year? No? Go to the link above and read - go ahead - I'll wait.... Ok and you get the row on the plane that is against the stewardess station - so your seats do NOT recline - but the people in front of yours do - and you get the row with 2 seats and the fold up stewardess seat. And while she's buckled in during take-off and you are trying to make a point to your very scared 9 year old who has made you promise the plane will not blow up (I SWEAR) and say "Honey, listen, do you REALLY think this nice woman would make this her JOB if it was dangerous?" And the nice woman says, "I would absolutely NOT do this if it were dangerous." I smile at Miss Thing and then the stewardess continues - "Not to worry - there is so much security since 9-11." WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??? Did you seriously JUST BRING UP 9-11 to ME on the fucking plane up in the air?!? Don't they teach you that is verboten???

2. July is the the absolute WORST time to go to Disney, Universal, or really Florida in general. As all of my Southern blog-friends have stated, you either stay indoors in the comfort of the AC or dip your ass in the pool - which is really not all that refreshing as the water is boiling from being that close to the sun - it felt more like I was making a Soup Stock boiling in my own savory juices - well, me and 100 other strangers.... I bet the soup was salty. The only consolation was that at least we didn't go in August. See...glass half full....

3. Blisters. Really no matter the shoe of choice, when it is THAT hot, your feet sweat everywhere including the tops and those comfy sandals you sported last year become torture chambers, insuring that you will have blisters that chafe and rub and become bloody-scabs that rip off at each line you are in, because some asshole (usually your family member) stepped on the back of it. And WHEN you break down and buy the cheesy $20.00 Pirates of the Caribbean thong flip-flops because anything has GOT to be better than what you have - and you wear them ONE night to Epcot and your lovely not-watching-where-the-fuck-he-was-going husband STEPS on the back of one and successfully lodges the thong part between your big toe and the second toe and RIPS the biggest piece of not ready to come off skin - it WILL hurt for the duration of the trip.

4. You score EXTRA points if you do not tell him this was his fault until you reach home. (See, I am considerate.)

5. The First Aid area in Magic Kingdom gives the biggest and best band-aids EVER - for FREE. Because, seriously - even though you thought ahead and brought an entire box - they will be gone in 3 days.

6. Speaking of shoes - do you know that Disney sells its own brand of hideous Crocs??? Yes, they do. Complete with mouse head cut-outs instead of holes. Guess how much?? $38.00. Wow. What a fashion-disaster rip-off. But, believe me MANY people were wearing them. Don't tell me about the comfort aspect - I am just not buying it. They are ugly as sin - end of story.

7. The Pop Century Hotel was a very cool place to stay. The room was average - but the decorum was great throughout - they had many 3-D picture boxes full of memorabilia from everything from the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s. Very cool. They had 4 pools - all very large, a great counter service restaurant, clean public bathrooms and nice workers. I would highly recommend it for someone who is looking at the moderate hotel stay. I personally don't believe in spending a ton of money on the hotel room when we are only sleeping and showering there - I'd rather spend my money elsewhere. We stayed at the building behind the giant Big Wheel sculpture. Awesome.

8. Fake sprayed on tan.... not so much in that heat. I sweated off most of it in 2 days. Would NOT do that again.

9. Bring more than one bottle of spray sun-block if you are going in the summer. We went through tons of it - as you sweated it off so quickly. If you or your kids are quick to burn - bring 2 bottles.

10. Do you owe 7 bras that you really like to wear? I don't either. BUT before you go to Florida - buy them. If you are like me - at home - you can wear that bra 2 days or throw it in the wash quickly enough. There was NO way you could get another day out of ANY of your clothes and I ended up washing my unmentionables in the sink - trying desperately not to let it TOUCH the sink.

11. No matter HOW hard I try - I become a complete FREAK in the hotel room. I am prone to screaming "GET OFF THE FLOOOOOOOOOR and OMG Don't Sit THEEEEEEEEERRRE!" I did bring a small bottle of Lysol with me and wipes - it helped. A little. I suggest you bring some sort of germ killer.

12. The Meal Plan is worth every penny if you use it to your full advantage. You get a counter meal, a dinner and a snack every day for each of you. We would use it for breakfast at Pop Century and since we were eating late - didn't usually eat another full meal until dinner. We would use our snack credit to buy a bottle of water or Powerade - they don't tell you can do this - but you can. And dinner we booked ahead of time at the following: (all of which are included as a meal plan with no extra money out of your pocket)

Cinderella's Castle for lunch - this is actually 2 dinner credits - but worth every penny. They start you off with a picture of Cinderella with you kids that you get before the meal is over in 8 x 10 form and (4) 2 x 3's, as well as an 8 x 10 of the castle itself. The dinner is great food choices and there are characters that come around for autographs and pictures. We had Jasmine, the Fairy Godmother, Snow White and Cinderella. This changes from time to time and you have no choices. The girls get a wand and the boys a sword when you walk in, and a Wishing Star. They call each kid princess or prince when they are addressing them - it is too cute to see their faces when this happens.

Hollywood and Vine for dinner - buffet style with good food lots of choices and nice atmosphere - at MGM Studios.

Epcot's Mexican Restaurant - awesome. Nothing else to say.

Epcot's German Restaurant - great food, great show while you are eating - again, awesome.

13. Typhoon Lagoon has the greatest wave pool EVER. It is a bit rough - I would not recommend it for little kids - but we stayed in there for hours. My kids body surfed the waves like little fish. The other rides are ok - but the lines are LONG and out in the direct sun and last about 15 seconds - so, I wouldn't do them again personally. Oh, bring your towel from the hotel - or you have to RENT one for $1.

14. High School Musical Pep Rally at MGM was a fucking madhouse.

15. Universal Studios ROCKS. The last time I was there - 15 years ago - it was only ONE park. Now it is TWO. It is expensive to get in (and to get there since Disney hotel transportation doesn't go there - we got the Mears bus for $60 round trip for the 4 of us) and even more expensive for the Express Lane/VIP tickets which get you to the front of the line on all rides that accept it (which is nearly all of them) - it cost us $611 for 4 VIP tickets and it was worth EVERY PENNY!!!! We rode every ride immediately after getting in line - unlike the Fast Pass at Disney - there is not set time to go and because you are paying for this option - there are far fewer people using it. You are supposed to only be able to use it once for each valid ride - but the operators don't care and we rode every ride 2 and 3 times. Really - the best day we had in Florida.

We had a great vacation. It was wonderful to spend so much time with my kids and my husband and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Pics of the rides to come. They are classic!