Junior Animal Control

Both of my kids are signed up at the town Summer Camp. For a mere $100/kid - they can enjoy 5 different activities - from 8:30 - 12:30 for two whole weeks. Some of the activities include: Kids in the Kitchen, Arts and Crafts, Theatre, Outdoor Activities and for the true geeks at heart Math, Science and Reading for Fun.
As if.

The kids love it as it gets them out of the house for half of the day, they get to see their friends and I don't beat them as much. I kid, as much.

I get a few hours of quiet to work, in exchange for the semi-lame activities.

For Kids in the Kitchen - they have made Rice Crispy Treats, Chocolate Covered Pretzels and Dirt Pudding. Exciting? Hardly. I am only bitter as I have not gotten one freaking scrap of food from this. Sheesh, the nerve.

The new addition to this program is one called Junior Animal Control. Lil Man, being lover of all paws and fur, jumped at the very THOUGHT of an entire 45 minutes devoted to animal speak. Especially since my eyes glaze over at his droning on about the POOR kangaroos in the desert and how they have to lick their paws to stay cool..................sorry I think I dozed off there just repeating it.

Come to find out, Jr. Animal Control is akin to Jr. Police Explorers. They teach young kids the basics of being an ASPCA Officer. Things like, how to know if your dog is scared or mad. When to pet a dog or cat - and more importantly when NOT to.

This particular lecture intrigued Lil Man and he could not WAIT to tell me EVERY.FREAKING.DETAIL.

"So, we watched this video and it told us that when a dog is scared it has it's ears down, it's tail between its legs and we should not pet it and when it's mad it is showing its HUMUNGOUS teeth and growling and barking and YOU SHOULD NOT PET IT!!!!!! AND if you are outside and a straight dog (did he say straight?!?) comes up to you should make like a TREE if you are standing up - LIKE THIS (quickly stiffens into tree formation) and if you are SITTING DOWN and a straight down comes (OMG - he DID say STRAIGHT DOG) up to you and you KNOW it's a bad dog (starting to giggle visualizing the BAD GAY DOGS as opposed to the BAD STRAIGHT DOGS) you should get into a ROCK position (Quickly rolls on the floor covering his ears with his fists) and THEN DO. YOU. KNOW. WHAT. YOU. DO. IF. THE. STRAIGHT. DOG. KEEPS. COMING. UP. TO. YOU????????

"Tell him you have 2 kids?"

Thank you - I'm here all week.............