July 21, 2006

Knowledge Is Power

As I've told you before, I am a GOOGLE Whore.

I am ALL ABOUT all that is listed on the internet. I love to find things out by simply typing in a few words and getting a plethora of answers. I like the detective work that goes along with it. Sleuthing out the correct, or at the very least, the most plausible answer. And I like the anonymity it provides. No one need know that I am an idiot and do not know that you CAN if fact, jump start a lawnmower with a car...I woulda thought the whole thing to go kablooie - but I am assured this is not so by the ALMIGHTY Search Engine and all of its minions.

I like that I DO NOT have to get in my car, drive to the town library and act as if I actually understand the Dewy Decimal System. (Which GOOGLE explains to me as this "Dewey numbers divide humanity's knowledge, ideas, and artistic creations into ten major categories spanning a range from 000 to 999: 000 Generalities, 100 Philosophy & psychology, 200 Religion, 300 Social sciences, 400 Language, 500 Natural sciences & math, 600 Technology (Applied sciences), 700 The arts, 800 Literature & rhetoric, 900 Geography & history. There is a subdivision of 9 and another further subdivision of 9 after that."

NOW YOU KNOW. I know, I didn't have a fucking clue either.

I can find out just about anything in a matter of minutes. Click, click, click - presto.

From the lyrics to a song, to how to get mold off of your house, to what that funny shorthand in IM REALLY meant - its all there just waiting for my greedy fingers to find it. Of course, there are scary things along the way that you find as well, but I take those in stride, kinda like the rogue fry in your onion rings. It's okay with me.

This got me thinking.

How in the world did I EVER survive without the internet. I MEAN, there WAS a time before internet. Kinda like BI (Before Internet) or possibly BDU (Before Dial Up). God, dial-up seems like eons ago already - and it was a mere 5 years ago.

How DID I get information?

I asked DH this tonight. He pondered it and said, "Well, I guess the library, or magazine articles, the newspaper and from people."

"People?", I asked with a vision of a help desk in my head.

"Yeah, ya know your peeps - you could ask them something."

"Ooooooohhhh your peeps - I gotcha."

"Except for me." he says.

"What? YOU didn't have PEEPS. EVERYONE has peeps."


"Come on, I know you hung with Fonzie, Vinny, Enzo and Tony...just to name I few" (I wish I was kidding with those names - but no.)

"Those were my paesons - not my peeps."

Ah ha. Mystery solved. And now, my peeps, you can find it on the internet.


At 1:51 PM, Blogger HomeFireBlue said...

I love Google, but I'm terribly impatient.

This leads to my Googling something and only reading the first page of results. I then slam the keyboard down in frustration and announce that i "canNOT find it".

Evil Genius Husband then finds the info in 2 1/2 minutes and emails me the link ... from his chair six feet away.



At 4:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy Don Corleone with your hubby's friends! I totally want a friend named Fonzie.
Also, I qualify as a GEEK--I skimmed over your Googled version of the Dewey Decimal system because I...know it.
I always Google people. Sounds sick and twisted, I know, but I am so freaking nosy about what happened to Cheerleader A from high school #1 (she has 5 kids and 2 husbands and is on welfare) and Band Geek from high school #2 (he was in Zoolander).

At 11:24 AM, Blogger Carol said...

I call things that I blog about/google -- Blogoogle!


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