July 20, 2006

Since When Is It In The Rule Book...



That the MOM has the drive around in the family car. Actually, its more like the automobile that SCREAMS I Have Kids, Don't Bother To Look At Me because I Am Wearing No Make-up, A Cat Sweater and Mom Jeans.

Fuck.

I know, I know - some of you LOVE your Mini-Vans. (I know my sister is orgasming in her borrowed one as we speak.) I am NOT a Mini-Van lover. It kind of reminds me of the short bus, if you know what I mean. And NO ONE wants to be associated with a Short Bus Window Licker. Yeah, I said it. Out Loud.

I know there are lots of advantages to driving around in the ark - but we have outgrown its usefulness. Instead of leaving the house with 16 bags, a stroller, a pack 'n play, a traveling car seat, a zillion toys and assorted binkies - we rarely take with us more than an action figure, an ipod and my knock-off GUCCI bag. Yes, it is roomy - and I do like that - but I think I can give it up for a semi-cool ride.



I have had a Bright Blue Mini-Van for the last 6 years and I believe it has stolen a piece of my soul. Ya can't crank Metallica from the Blue Mini-Van!! Seriously, the stereo sucks balls anyway. Even with my Ipod.

DH drives this.



Wouldn't YOU rather drive this?????
Yeah, me too. And yes, I take it out on rare occasions to rattle my brain with the Boise stereo and shock-start my heart with the quick acceleration. But, it ain't mine.

I am looking into a new car. And yes, it needs to be a family car. One that won't kill me softly - mind or pocket.

What's your stance on the whole Mom Car thing??

12 Comments:

At 8:15 AM, Blogger Heather said...

HA! BIG LOL on the 'ark' and 'short bus'. Love it.

I am SO with you on the minivan. One of the conditions of kids with hubby was no minivan and no station wagon. Seriously. I HATE HATE HATE them, so does hubby though. I had a sporty little car before kids, before my Explorer. At least I got a sun roof and leather in it, so I can feel somewhat cool, even if I don't look quite as cool as I used to.

If you saw my post, we too, albeit briefly, were looking into a new car - something sedan-y. Maybe next year. Maybe I can live vicariously thru you...btw, that's a beautiful infinity. What is it about men and their cars?? I don't get to drive hubby's at all either?

 
At 8:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally agree........you cannot jam the tunes or be cool in a mini-van. It's just not possible. My car is just about as bad - a 4 door Ford Focus...sigh....however, if you can afford it, I highly suggest a "back-up" car - I have an 85 Mustang GT, big old V8, standard shift, sunroof - I leave everyone at home for an hour and go cruise (or, they come with me - not AS cool, but just pretend the family's not with you). It's better than nothing!

 
At 8:59 AM, Blogger macboudica said...

Both of our cars suck, but the "dad" car sucks a little less. The "family" car is a '93 Chevy Caprice Classic wagon (complete with fake wood panel sides!) that seats eight (so it is basically BIGGER than Noah's Ark), no AC (it broke years ago and is not on the priority list for some financial reason like we have to buy food-sheesh!) and the other is a '97 Chevy Malibu that has so many goofy electrical quirks that the battery is constantly dead and needs a jump start (kind of like me before coffee in the morning). Someday we will have a normal car again...

 
At 9:37 AM, Blogger JayMonster said...

Mini-Vans like everything else can be as cool as you want them to be (Think VW Micro-bus).

The Chrysler Pacifica and Mazda MPV both look much nicer than the run of the line ark.

But as you point out you are past, Pack-n-Play toting stage, so why not save the petrol expenses and get a decent 4 door Sedan. Even a Full Size Sedan is (usually) better Gas milage than a mini-van, and the trunks often have enough space to store several large bodies...er..uh... I mean lots of whatever you need to bring with you.

 
At 11:38 AM, Blogger amanda said...

One of the best bumper stickers I've seen reads: Minivans are the tangible proof of evil. I would rather travel long distance by bicycle (even with all the baby crap to lug around) than drive one of those. Sure, it can be convenient, but my soul would hurt if I had to drive a minivan. As far as a family-ish car that still has some cools, what about the Dodge Magnum? A Subaru wagon? I haven't gotten to drive our 65 Chevy convertible all summer because it has no real seatbelt system, and I lug the baby. It sucks!!!

 
At 11:54 AM, Blogger Johannah said...

You're so right. I despise my mini-van. They are just not sexy and nothing you do, not even driving them in lingere will help.

I do beg to differ, however, with the cranking the tunes. I drive down main street of our village regularly with the windows rolled down and the super loud music going. I do it mainly to embarass my teenagers, but it is possible, just so ya know.

My DH drives a GMC pickup truck. My son is getting a pickup too. And, we do have an '86 jaguar as a back up car, so that's good, but the A/C doesn't work right now, so it's just not an option until it no longer feels like we're living in hell here. Is everyone else this hot? Makes me wonder when it's gonna start raining blood and frogs. Anyway...

I would love to get a car, and will as soon as the stupid van is paid off.

 
At 2:52 PM, Anonymous sherry said...

GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRR

*shiver*

I love the minivan, but I'm guessing the novelty might wear off before long. I'm also a weirdo and might just love the minivan all the while.

Personally, and this is just me of course, I think you should look into a BMW X3 or the Mercedes M Class SUV. If those are a little out of the Sharpie budget, then perhaps a Toyota Forerunner? If it's a car you're looking at, we're very partial these days to the Ford Fusion, although I don't think I'd buy a Ford, simply to avoid the shit you'd get from our very, Pro-GMC Dad.

Whatever you get, it's going to be sweet and smokin' because you're in it.

I'm off to go play with my new, Dodge sex toy...

 
At 5:26 PM, Blogger Wendy said...

I hate minivans. I would rather walk the 10 miles to town hauling a Radio Flyer for the groceries than drive a minivan.

We're having major car wars here now that K drives. She is not supposed to drive my Expedition except if absolutely necessary, which means that everytime she has to work, R take that car and leaves the gutless wonder 15 year old truck that I hate almost as much as minivans. Plus that means everytime K works, I'm stuck without a car.

We know it's time to add another car, but I hate the thought of payments again. Something kinda small and fuel efficient...probably a Mazda 3, since I have a choice between Ford and Mazda (R works at a dealership, and it would be a big no-no to have something else), and while I'm okay with that, I haven't driven a little car in ages. Plus, I can't decide if it's too girly, and I don't do girly cars either.

 
At 8:44 PM, Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Can't answer, cuz don't drive. I KNOW. CRAZY. But true.

I lobbied hard for an old Volvo staion wagon before WonderBaby came along. But Husband wanted something sportier so we're all crammed into a little Saab. Minivan sounds pretty good sometimes...

 
At 9:57 PM, Blogger Blog This! said...

Lovin' every minute in my minivan because its so practical and convenient to haul around the kids, the crap, the dog, etc. And if you are going to get a gas guzzler, you might as well get a practical gas guzzler like a minivan instead of an SUV.

 
At 9:54 AM, Blogger Michele said...

Love's me some mini-van - mmmm, mmmm!

I do. I love my mini-van. I love being up higher than I was in my Accord, and the kids can see and the doors are automatic (very key when you are balancing two toddlers and a Kate Spade knock-off). My favorite is that I have room for all of our crap, AND even more room for crap I find/buy when we are on the road.

Thats just where I am right now in my car life. But you Sharpie, you definitely need to upgrade to something cooler.

 
At 1:48 PM, Blogger HomeFireBlue said...

Hah! How do you think I feel? I drive a full sized, late 80s, same-basic-dimensions-of-aformentioned-short-bus, Dodge Ram van. I have to stop at each end of a trip to put petrol in it! (ok, ok, it's not that bad)

My dream is to find something smaller that will hold FIVE carseats and two adults PLUS all the crap.

Maybe I should just buy a bus ...

-Blue

 

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