April 25, 2007

Randomness

I am seriously lacking time and energy to devote to this blog at the moment - so I give you the most interesting search engine inquiries that have brought people to this site.

1. What does alibi mean? (2 people were asking)
If you have to ask - you probably do not need one.

2. Satin Ballero Jacket
Wow. Just say no.

3. How to build an ark?
I do not believe this has been recreated since Noah - but I'll look into it....

4. "my music's so loud"
You have missed the boat (ark) and that song has already been shelved.

5. Nasty Booties
What? I know you aren't talking about me..........

6. assssssssssssssssssssssssssss (4x)
Do #5 and #6 go together????

7. Mom of the year graphic
I am not sure what in hell a Mom of the Year looks like - as it certainly is not me...

8. Mother of the acceptance speech & how to win mother of the year award
The first thing you should do is STOP trying to win an award that does exist. The best trophy you can get is beautiful, healthy children who love you. Stop already.

9. Good looking Gyno in Palm Beach
THIS is a prerequisite? Cuz honestly my gyno is old, bald and overweight - JUST the way I want the person who is staring at my VaJayJay to look.

10. window lickers
Still funny.

11. Pig Cupcakes
I have no idea - but please do yourself a favor and buy cupcakes at Costco like the rest of us. You're just trying to make us look bad.

12. My mother is a pyscho bitch
Are there any who aren't?

13. 1st day of kindergarten Goodbye Mom
Oh honey, I'm sorry - it is hard for like ------- oh 30 seconds and then you realize you are ALONE and its QUIET and well - it all gets better after that.

14. 7 yr old swearing and disrespectful
I can't stress this enough. BEAT.HIS.ASS. It will correct the problem.

15. Hand gesture for flatterer
I only know a few hand gestures - and this is not one of them.

16. How do you know when hamsters are really dead?
I am going to go out on a limb here and say if the non-movement and stink haven't helped you decide - poke it with a stick.

17. Russian dwarf hamster busted eye
I guess it wasn't dead after all, huh?

18. Really, really funny hamsters
Sorry I only know really funny hamsters - not really, really funny hamsters.

19. Hamster brought back from the dead
Was it in the Pet Sematary - cuz now you own it - and well, it won't be pretty.

20. What do you think about Pandora bracelets?
Well, I think that they are great. But what do YOU think? Is this how people decide to buy jewelry?

Must run - there is much to do with work, school, and Lil Man's Birthday Party.
my music's so louddddddddddddddddd

8 Comments:

At 11:29 AM, Blogger Louise said...

"I guess it wasn't dead after all, huh?"

LM-Freakin-AO

 
At 1:25 PM, Blogger amanda said...

You may need to retitle your blog to work in more hamsters :).

 
At 2:10 PM, Blogger Sharpie said...

I know - and I hate the little fuckers!

 
At 3:48 PM, Blogger Heather said...

Who knew people searched so damn much on hamsters?? WTF?!

 
At 7:53 PM, Blogger melodyann said...

Oh my God! When you said BEAT.HIS.ASS? I laughed till I think I peed a little...

I thought "window lickers" was funny too, till my 20 year old daughter was rolling her head and licking her window IN LUNCH HOUR TRAFFIC....

Maybe I should BEAT.HER.ASS hahahaha

 
At 1:33 PM, Blogger melodyann said...

aww, sharpie! you added me!
thanks!

 
At 1:37 PM, Blogger Sharpie said...

Melodyann -

I did add you sorry it took so long - I need to revamp this blog a bit - but yes FINALLY getting to it!!

 
At 1:53 PM, Blogger Michele said...

Hysterical. Completely. I need to do this too, although some of my search referrals are disturbing

"fat pregnant women in diapers"

Who wants to see that shit???

 

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