All My Peeps Showed Me Da Love

What a way to grow older - by receiving huge amounts of gifts on the same caliber as celebrity swag. Ok, so there was no Tiffany boxes - but I got even cooler stuff than that.

I received the Idiot's Guide To Sewing (from my lurvly sista ) - so I no longer have to try to Google all the words that are in the pattern I bought - or worse yet, call my family and listen to them LAUGH and LAUGH at the faux seamstress. I can put stuff together - but it's all smoke and mirrors. "NEVER look on the underside" is my motto. I am not gonna lie - I have no game when it comes to sewing. None.

But you know who does???? Sherry. Cuz Sherry, my dear internet friends, SEWED ME A MOTHER F'ING SHIRT - MADE OF SILK - WITH A VERY FLATTERING SHAPE - THAT FUCKING FITS ME LIKE I WAS HER MODEL BITCH!!

Look at it.....




Who does that? Seriously. People BUY shirts - not make them for people. We don't live in Amish country. Holy Hell. How am I going to find a gift FOR HER that matches that time and effort spent??? And HOW did she know my size to fit so exact? She didn't ASK me. I'll tell you that bitch is CRAZY - and talented - and sweet - and thoughtful - and FUCKING CRAZY, did I mention CRAZY??

I also got a few CDs of the Rock and Roll type (as if there are any other kinds - am I right??), a few bought shirts (from hubby - who - like never buys me clothes and THEY fit - fucking hell - what is going on here??), a computer program reference book I wanted, some stuff for my laptop - including the awesome Mighty "wireless" Mouse. I am so excited - it's bluetooth - THAT is so cool.

I also got a gift certificate to the spa from my coworkers. Am I appearing too stressed out? Cuz I bought them flowers for their birthdays - so, I am not sure what that means exactly.

Also, they couldn't stop stuffing me full of food. I had lunch with Mom, Sherry and Miss Thing - after a lovely afternoon of shopping, where my Mother bought me 2 others shirts - are you seeing a pattern here?? Huh. I got 5 shirts for my birthday. FIVE. That's exactly 5 more than I have ever gotten for my birthday.

We had cheesecake, strawberry shortcake, brownies and to top of my day - HUBBY made me stuffed lobster. Yes. He cooked it. Himself. Went to the store, peeked in the tank, picked them out, brought them home and cooked them up. He made the most delicious seafood stuffing. I know - I am lucky - a big dick, brains, a sense of humor AND he can cook. I can never complain about him again. But, we all know I will...

My bitch friends blew me off. Remember my post about having 2 friends. Well - scratch that - I have none. Whatever. I stayed home with hubby and watched a movie and hung out with my bestest friend - him.

Also - I received this awesome award from LadyBug Crossing...



She, and a slew of her friends are coming by to visit and I couldn't be happier. I'll be linking you ladies soon. As soon as I can get a little ahead in my NEW CLASS - Philosophy of Aesthetics. What's that? I can't hear you over MY OWN snoring....

The adjunct ACTUALLY wrote this in an email...

"If desperation sets in, you may call me at 867-5309. I will immediately cease amusing myself with whatever trifle has momentarily captured my fancy and speak at length with you about your discomfort." Holy Hell - I'm fucked.


Gotta run! Thank you all - for showing me da love!! Peace!!