There Were 3 In The Bed, And The Little One Said "Rollover...."

Yes, I'm back. How long did you actually think I could stay away from you bitches anyway? Exactly. Not long.

We had a thrilling, fun-filled weekend, what with the visit to Roger Williams Zoo in Providence, RI (by the fucking way....if EVER I say I am driving the kids to Providence from MY house on a FRIDAY with no other adult - kill me dead - seriously. How did I NOT know it took 2 1/2 hours EACH WAY?!?!) and then Six Flags on Saturday (SuperHero geeks unite!!And yes we DID get pictures with Wonder Woman - jealous much?!) and then off to my MIL's house to greet my newly returned from Belgium SIL and family.

So, imagine my surprise, while tucking in Lil Man last night, he sits bolt-upright and asks if he can sleep with me. Desperate. Like he had just seen Nightmare on Elm Street.

Me - "Sleep with me? Why?"

Lil Man - "Cuz I wanna sleep with someone."

Me - "You want me to ask your sister?"

Lil Man - "I already did. She said she wanted to sleep by herself."

Me - "Want me to lay here with you until you go to sleep? Because I am not ready to go to sleep yet. " (Other parents will see through this ruse as a way to NOT have a little person in your bed. I was TOTALLY trying to talk him out of it.)

Lil Man VERY desperate now - "I'll wait for you here. I'll try to stay awake. OK?"

(Now this is breaking my heart because he has NEVER asked to sleep in my bed in such a persistent manner. He might ask, smile when I say he's a big boy and can go to sleep himself. Nod, turn over and fall fast asleep. None of this is happening. I tell him he can sleep in my bed.)

Lil Man runs off jumps in my bed and I lie down next to him.

Me - "What's going on Peanut?"

Lil Man tears in his eyes - "Nuthin."

Me - "What? Tell me..."

Lil Man really fighting tears now - "Nuthin."

Me - "Are you scared? Are you nervous about school?"

Lil Man - "NO." Too quick. I know I've hit a nerve.

Me - "It's ok to be nervous. First grade is a big step. Are you nervous about lunch (MY fear because he has always been my CHOKER) or is it recess or the school work?"

Lil Man - throws a huge hug on me and buries his head into my chest, he is crying now. His response is muffled - I can't hear it.

Me - "What Peanut?"

Lil Man - "You. I'm going miss YOU."

A ha. The boy who has always been with me (I've worked at home his whole life) besides school, which was half days until now, is afraid to be without his Mom. He's going to miss me. Well, pal if you only knew the half of it. I'm gonna miss you more than anything. You are my little Pal. My Bud. The one I have hung out with, had lunch with and talked with for the last 3 years, while your sister was at school. I tell him none of this though.

Me - "How about if I give you a picture of me to put in your book bag and you can look at it whenever you miss me? How's that sound?"

Lil Man nods, clearly not buying it completely.

Me - "Listen Peanut, it is perfectly ok for you to feel this way. You can tell me anything. If you are afraid, nervous, scared or upset about ANYTHING. OK? How about if I come and pick you up from school the first few days instead of taking the bus home?"

Lil Man - eyes have lit up - "Every day?"

Me - "No, not every day. But I will for the first few days, until you want to take the bus with your friends. If I pick you up every day - how am I going to have time to make homemade chocolate chip cookies for when you get home?"

Lil Man half-asleep, smiling, murmurs, "Ok Mommy. I love you. You are the best mommy in the world."

Sweet Dreams my beautiful boy. Mommy is right here beside you.