March 12, 2007

Sara Was A Really Shitty Hamster

I know - this is probably NOT the best start to a eulogy - but, it is true.

Ask Sherry who nearly got her finger amputated by small, sharp, razor-like incisors - thanks to Miss Sara.

We got Miss Sara as a replacement to the first Sara who died rather soon after we brought her home. In hindsight, I should have used this to my advantage. "See, Miss Thing - you DON'T WANT another hamster to die in your room do you?"

But - no - I was all swept up in the tears.

So, we brought home Sara 2 and she seemed nice as pie for a few weeks. Dwarf hamsters are cute until they get a little older and then they are best left alone.

So, we had this horrible stinkin' rat for nearly 3 LONG HARD YEARS. It was Miss Thing's pet, but she soon abandoned it. No one in the house liked it. I took care of it. I cleaned its cage. I fed it. It was moved out of Miss Thing's room. It lived in my OFFICE.

Until last weekend. Saturday is cage cleaning day. Miss Thing came down with the cage and announced she thought the thing was dead already. And not SAD people - I think she was smiling!!

I checked and while she was not already dead - it wouldn't be long. She stayed in her little cedar house stuffed with cotton while I went about the chore of cleaning up. I noticed she hadn't eaten much and hadn't made a mess. I figured she had been sick a few days and no one noticed. Feeling a little bad, I stuck my hand in and petted her. She let me. Fuck, the end was near.

After the kids had gone upstairs, Sara somehow dragged herself up the tube to the top section of the cage. That's when I noticed the blood in the the cedar bed. She was suffering.I felt really bad. But, I am all talk. I could never put this thing out of its misery.

I tried convincing DH to ring its neck. "Um, no psycho," was his answer. I thought of putting her in the freezer. I just couldn't do it. So, I sat with her for awhile and brought her back up to my office so I could keep an eye on her. Lil Man, lover of all animals was very emotional after he saw how wobbly she was.

"Mommy can't you do something?" he pleaded.

"Honey, the only thing I COULD do is kill her."

Horrified, "You won't do that will you?".

"I can't. I don't even have it in me to do."

Whispering, very quiet, "I know you don't".

The next morning I found her exactly in the same spot I left her. Her suffering had finally ended . I was glad. It was horrible to watch. I decided to bury her, but quick. She was afterall, still in my office and to be honest - there was already a bit of an odor. Lil Man offered to help. So armed with my spade, some gloves and Sara The Dead Hamster in a children's Tylenol box - we went outside. We headed to the Pet Cemetary. I intended to bury Sara 2 next to Sara 1, as well as hermit crabs, Tom and Flash.

The weather is starting to warm in the Northeast - but the ground is still rock solid. After a few attempts, I say out loud - "Man, the cat better die in the summer." Lil Man rolls his eyes. I gathered up a bunch of mud left from the pouring rains of late and put her under a large rock.

Ok. All done. Lil Man says his goodbyes. So do I.

He says, "Mom this is really sad."

"I know honey, but she is in a better place."

Walking towards the house he turns and says....

"Yeah, she's in the big wheel in the sky!"

{I think I woke the neighbors with my hysterical laughter.}


At 8:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

2 Hamsters and 2 hermit crabs... got a regular Pet Semetary starting their huh?

We have fortunately only had to bury one Hermit Crab thus far, and that was really... uh... creepy, as my daughter demanded a "wake" first, so we had to set up our dining room as a funeral parlor for a day first.

At 8:23 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Okay, now you've got me thinking about that damn Journey song. I do not need Steve Perry's voice in my head today, really.

Oh, and sorry about the hamster. He IS in a better place...

"The wheel in the sky keeps on turning...I don't know where I'll be toooommmmooorrrowww...."

At 10:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

RIP Sara the Shitty Hamster

At 4:11 PM, Blogger Tray said...

Nice Journey reference, Lil Man. Funny thing about this song...I've been singing it in my head for like 4 days, and I couldnt quitevfigure out why until now. LOL Sara the Shitty Hamster, RIP.

At 7:51 AM, Blogger deborah said...

"the cat better die in the summer", now that had me rolling. something I would say. We have 2 dogs, 3 cats buried in our yard. those are the pets. You wouldn't believe the masacre my cat does to the living in the summer. we have a snake in my son's room and 2 goldfish we just inherited. at my ex's house are buried 3 iguana, 2 dogs, a litter of kittens and the momma cat. someone call the humane society

At 4:08 PM, Blogger MrsEvilGenius said...

OK, the "man,the cat better die in the summer" comment made me laugh so hard I had tears running down my face. Does that count as mourning?

Oh, and you aught to live on a FARM. We tried burying every sheep and goat and chicken that died (and trust me, they croak all the time) but in this red clay it's impossible. We finally just instituted a 'boneyard' in the woods. The buzzards keep it tidy.

We do still get out the pickaxe and bury pets, though.

I am really really dreading the pony's demise.

At 6:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said... the sky....I fell of my chair.

At 9:07 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Poor little dead unloved hamster!

This sounds awful, but one of our dogs is really old and not doing so well anymore. Now that the ground thawed, I'm planning on having the boys dig a big hole just in case the dog dies next winter when the ground is frozen.

So far we've not lost a single pet, but I'm sure we have millions of little mouse bones around.


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