Things I Learned At Miss Thing's First Sleep Over

1. The word "sleep" should NEVER be on the invitation. Period. At least for the mother.

2. 10 girls can eat A LOT of pizza. Holy shit.

3. 10 girls jumping round dancing in your living room, in a circle, BEGGING your husband to jump in - AND HE DOES and you just HAPPEN to have the camcorder ready - PRICELESS.

4. 9 year old girls, while reading Tiger Beat magazine, all still sleep with stuffed animals.

5. The most annoying mother (kid is not so bad AND there is a whole post for another day about this one) actually STAYED for 2 1/2 hours because her kid asked her to. Which I think is complete and utter bullshit since the kid never even came to look at her after she kicked off her shoes and ran where the other girls were. So, I had to entertain her instead of smoking crack like I had planned. RUIN-ER!

6. That Miss Thing SHOULD have gotten an Oscar for her award-winning performance while opening gifts. One of her dear friends had bought her the cutest American Girl outfit (brand new Valentine's Day outfit) HOWEVER Miss Thing had used her Christmas money to order the exact same outfit and HER DOLL WAS WEARING IT. From the act, I would have never thought she had it - OR the kid knew either way. Apparently, the kid did since the mother called last night.

7. NYLON SLEEPING BAGS - who the fuck thought THIS was a good idea???? Nylon + 10 girls tossing and turning = No Fucking Sleep For Sharpie AT ALL.

8. A couch is not for sleeping. Or at least MY couch.

9. When you ask your daughter if she wants to listen to her Lullaby tape, the one thing that SHE HAS TO HAVE TO GO TO SLEEP and she gives you the most horrified look and you recover quickly - CUZ HOLY FUCK HOW COULD YOU HAVE SAID THAT and say its YOUR tape YOU need to sleep and all the girls look at you wide eyed and you eyeball them back and they go to sleep. *wipes forehead - close call*

10. When it says the pick-up time is 10 am - and you come at quarter after and say you picked her up late because you dropped her off late - I have the right to kick your ass in from of your kid.