I May Have To Change The Name Of This Blog

With Christmas rapidly approaching, I was not surprised to find an enormous pile of boxes the UPS guy have left precariously stacked RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOOR - ensuring that I would inevitably send them cascading down the front steps when I tried to slide my big ass out the door to retrieve them. As I lugged in my haul, I noticed a box from a certain company I was fairly certain I had not purchased anything from - but, hey I have been known to shop with wild abandon during this season and figured the only way to be sure was to rip it right the fuck open immediately.

Inside this HUGE box was a smaller box surrounded by so much padding, I thought there must have been a live puppy in there. Uh No. Inside, the smaller box I found this....



It seems the women I work with remotely (we all work from home - but have constant contact) have heard my babbling about how much I suck as a Mom a FEW times and thought this appropriate. I laughed until my mascara ran.

This is the accompanying acceptance speech I enclosed with a photo this morning.....

On Behalf Of Slacker Moms Everywhere - I am happy to accept this prestigious award. Now when I lay me eyes upon it - its bright shimmer will dull the pain of knowing this award was completely sarcastic. I would now like to take the time to thank all the people who have helped me to get to this place.

First, I would like to thank the Academy of Chicks I Work With for their quick wit in whipping up this award. It's beautiful jagged design will always give me a way to impale myself if it just gets to be too much. Specifically I would like to thank Shaneequa and Shaqwanda for always listening to my endless bragging for WHY I should get the Mother of the Year award.
Thank you ladies.

Of course, this award would not be possible if not for my loving children who no matter how I try to revel in my award, always keep me grounded by knowing that in some way I suck as their Mother.

Lastly, I would like to thank all of the other Mothers out there - if it were not for them I would have no gauge for exactly how high the bar is set. Their flawless memories for Teddy Bear Day, appropriate non-peanut snacks and play-dates are a constant reminder of the tenacity it requires to be Mother of the Year.

In closing, I would like to say thank you for this award. I have strived long and hard over the last (almost) 9 long years to reach my goal. It's wonderful to know that after achieving my goal - it's really all down hill from here.

Thank You for the hysterical laughter that erupted after I opened the box. It was so unexpected that I ruined my make-up crying with laughter.

Best Regards,
Mother of the Year 2006
Sharpie

Do I Qualify For The Over-Achiever Discount?

Final grades are in this morning for those Death-Of-Me-And-My-Non-Existent-Social-Life-Not-That-I-Had-Much-Of-One-To-Begin-With Master's courses.

Drumroll, please......................

100 in History of Graphic Design
96.73 in Graduate Seminar

BOO-YAH!!

2 BIG FAT STINKIN A's.

Overachiever much, yes please.
I am happy - yes. Happy they are OVER and even more. I will NEVER take 2 courses at the same time again.

A week until Christmas and I have all shopping done, NONE wrapped. Can anyone say GIFT BAG??!!
I baked 3 kinds of cookies - not my usually 15 different kinds. Oh well. Something has to give.

Decorations are up - sorta - we are LAME this year.

Christmas cards are sent and received.

My end of year billing is done and sent.

Bring it Santa - I'm just gettin started.

Listmania

I am sitting atop my mountain of lists that I am concurrently working like an old lady at BINGO. Can someone give me a FREE space??? The lists that I currently have running...

1. Daily To Do List - usually consists of sticky notes and a desk calendar. So far today, I have made an RSVP to 2 parties and asked for my money back from an activity that did not fit into Miss Thing's schedule. Also on the list is a call to the accountant and a call to my SIL to see what in the world to get her kids.

2. Christmas Gift Lists - This consists of what the kids want, what I've bought - on-line and traditional push-the-cart style as well as lists for each member of family/friends/etc. Also have a list of "I have no ideas for" - at the moment.

3. Christmas Card to do List - must update my database of addresses - yes I am one of those that does not hand address cards AT ALL. NO personal note - nothing - be glad ya got one. I pick up cards on Friday and have to go get stamps - ahaaaaaaaa.

4. Weekly Planning/To Do List - includes bigger jobs - i.e. billing for the business, homework, etc. Take the guinea pig to get nails clipped, pickup dry cleaning and pictures from CVS.

5. Grocery List - Stop & Shop, as well as, BJs lists

6. List of Christmas Decorating to do's - Tree is up and decorated - check, outside lists good EXCEPT for pillars - which was my job - still not done, must get stocking and a few more decorations out of the attic.

7. Christmas Cookies - have not even looked this far yet and usually I'm mid-way through cooking at this point. Not to mention HAVE NOT bought any items for baking.

I will try to put POSTING MORE OFTEN on the weekly list. Hope you all are well. Carry on.