Ice Cream Sociopath
Today happens to be the LAST FULL day of school for the 2 little hellions. And I can honestly say I really GLAD. No more reports, Megans moms and the like. I am happily anticipating the 2 days before I wish they were back in school. Cuz, that's all it takes.
But before I can tell the school to kiss my big lily-white ass - There is Beach Party Thursday.
And WHAT, you may ask, goes on during Beach Party Thursday? Ice cream sundaes of course - it makes perfect sense. Just like candy and razor blades. And guess who got called on a SUNDAY afternoon to be asked to organize Ice Cream Social in Lil Miss's class????? Oh yes, the most SOCIAL mother around...me. SOCIOPATH, maybe. Social...uh, no.
I had a choice - call all the other fake moms and beg them to bring their pasty-white asses into school with a 1/2 gallon of chocolate/vanilla/strawberry or buy it all myself. I contemplated - BELIEVE ME!!
But the list was as follows:
5 - 1/2 gallons ice cream (Is it ONLY me that thinks that is a ridiculous amount for 22 kids?!)
2 - RediWhips
Juiceboxes (at least 22)
Spoons
Wet toppings (2-3)
Sprinkles (2-3)
I started adding it up and shit - I started dialing. I EVEN called Megans mother. YES, I DID. I may be a lot of things - but a Grudge Holder I ain't - so I am over it.
Thank god I only have to bring the ice cream and not my bathing suit. But, I think I MIGHT have a shot at the wet t-shirt contest.... I'll let you know.
posted by Sharpie @ 9:40 AM
6 comments
6 Comments:
I guess you're lucky that they didn't request all their own Ben & Jerry's special flavors. Shaws has Hood half-gallons on sale for $1.66 this week. Go Party!
yum - ice cream!! Have a blast - I bet you'll have some outrageous story to tell about this event.
Kids+ice cream+hot weather = one mother fuckin' mess.
Make mine mint! While there's a big part of me that dreads my future as a mom who has to bring shit, I do look forward to shaking it up now and then. I can't compete with the non-working millionaire moms around here who would bring a Ben & Jerry's pint for each child, but I'll find a way to make it cool, just as I imagine you will!
The call came on Sunday? Sounds like the PTANazis at your school are not on the ball. My daughter's Kindergarten class doesn't let out for another week, and I think they have already set up all the parties through next Easter already at our school.
Ok, I'm taking bets on how many kids vomit before 3pm... I'm saying three. Any takers?
On the plus side, regurgitated icecream is almost as easy to clean up as plain melted icecream- and I'd hand the towel to Megan's mum to do it... no grudges but a little smirking pay-back is acceptable.
That's pretty damn funny (sorry!) Were you next on their list or something?? And nice job on the advance notice. Asses.
Have fun and I hope that the fact you organized the shindig doesn't mean you had to clean up after.
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